• Sleep

    Understanding the 4-Month Sleep Regression: What’s Really Happening and How to Navigate It

    The 4-month sleep regression: a topic that never fails to light up the mums’ group chat and worry even the most laid-back of new parents. But what’s really happening? Let’s break it down and understand what is essentially a phase in your baby’s development.

    What Is the 4-Month Sleep Regression?

    Well, first of all, it doesn’t just happen exactly at 4 months! Occurring between 3-5 months of age, this “regression” rears its head while your baby’s sleep architecture is getting a HUGE upgrade!

    As a newborn, your baby’s sleep was pretty straightforward with just active sleep (like REM sleep) and quiet sleep (like NREM sleep). But now, your baby will gain two whole extra stages! They go through NREM1, NREM2, NREM3, and finally REM sleep. Why does this make a difference? The first two stages are light sleep, which means your baby is likely to be more easily disturbed, especially while they are getting used to having all of these new types of sleep. This is why you might see more frequent night waking and shorter naps during this phase – adjusting to this new sleep architecture takes time for your little one!

    Why Is This Change Happening?

    This shift from a simple sleep pattern to a more complex one is a natural part of your baby’s growth. Your baby’s sleep cycles are maturing, evolving from the basic newborn pattern to something more similar to adult sleep. These changes typically happen between 2-6 months and can cause temporary disruptions in sleep as your baby adjusts.

    What Else Might Be Impacting Sleep?

    During this period, there’s also a lot happening developmentally. Here’s a closer look at the milestones that can affect sleep:

    Decreasing Sleep Needs

    Newborns sleep a LOT! But as your baby grows and exits the newborn stage, they begin to need less sleep than they did when they had just been born. This is a normal part of development, and while it’s easy to wish your little one would sleep like they did in those early newborn days, remember this development is actually progress – your little one is maturing and growing!

    Learning New Skills

    Your baby might be learning to roll, or sit supported, and chances are they are much more active now during the day. Learning new skills requires new connections forming in the brain, and as your baby grows and strengthens these connections (called synapses), it can literally wake them up at night!

    Generally, once your baby masters the new skill and adjusts to their newfound mobility, their sleep improves. Providing ample opportunity to practice these skills during the day can result in less of an attraction to wake and practice at night.

    More Distracted in General

    Your little one is waking up to the world and there’s just so much to see and take in! This can also mean that feeding is more distracted, which can mean that your baby may begin taking more feeds overnight when it is quiet and dark and there aren’t as many distractions. Babies become more alert, aware, and distractible in the daytime. This can result in resisting sleep and shifting their calorie intake more into the night. Keeping this in mind while trying to keep daytime feeds as low-key and boring as possible to reduce distractions can make a big difference!

    Tips for Navigating the 4-Month Sleep Regression

    Understanding these changes can help you navigate this phase more smoothly. Here are some actionable tips:

    Maintain a Consistent Bedtime Routine

    Consistency is key. Establish a calming bedtime routine that signals to your baby that it’s time to wind down. This might include a bath, gentle rocking, or reading a story.

    Create a Sleep-Friendly Environment

    Ensure your baby’s sleep environment is conducive to rest. This means a dark, cool, and quiet room. Consider using white noise to mask household sounds that could disturb your baby’s sleep.

    Practice New Skills During the Day

    Give your baby plenty of time to practice new motor skills during the day. This can help reduce the urge to practice these skills during the night.

    Keep Encouraging Feeds

    If your baby is more distractible during daytime feeds, try to create a calm feeding environment to encourage them to keep taking in calories during the daytime.

    Stay Responsive

    Respond to your baby’s needs at night with reassurance and comfort and help them to resettle. There’s no such thing as bad habits when it comes to settling your baby, but if you’re finding you are doing lots of resettling and it is becoming unsustainable, it might be time to talk about finding you a new settling strategy that suits your baby and your parenting style and allows you both to get some extra rest.

    Conclusion

    Every baby’s journey through the 4-month sleep regression is unique. Some babies will be quite affected whereas others might experience only minor bumps in the road. But if you’ve been having trouble throughout this period for more than a couple of weeks, please reach out and we can talk about ways to improve sleep for you and your little one. You can also download my free guide Better Sleep 101 which has tons of gentle, easy-to-implement strategies to get you and your little one’s sleep back on track!

    If you’re feeling stuck, don’t hesitate to reach out and we can make a plan to get you more sleep!

  • Parenting

    Navigating Modern Parenting: How Gentle Sleep Coaching Can Help You Enjoy Quiet Nights

    Modern parenting is a balancing act like never before. As parents today, we’re inundated with a mix of traditional expectations and high modern standards. We’re supposed to manage careers, maintain perfect households, and ensure our children not only keep up but excel. But in our digital age that is always switched on, the needs of our little ones – in particular their sleep patterns – have remained unchanged. And often, these sleep needs clash with our fast-paced lifestyle – and this is where the challenges start.

    In this blog, I delve into the challenges modern parents face, the enduring nature of our children’s sleep patterns, and the powerful bridge that gentle sleep coaching and holistic approaches can create to connect these seemingly disparate worlds.

    Why is modern parenting so challenging?

    Modern parents face a unique set of challenges. The concept of ‘the village’ — once a bustling network of support that helped raise a child— has shifted. In the past, extended families and community networks played a pivotal role in child-rearing, providing support and relief to new parents. While many parents today still enjoy the benefits of support from friends and family, the comprehensive support system that once existed now sometimes feels diluted. This isolation impacts not just day-to-day parenting but also how we guide our children through the crucial stages of their development, such as sleep.

    Sleep is a biological necessity, a time when the brain consolidates learning and the body rejuvenates. However, the natural rhythm of a baby’s sleep cycle often collides with the fast pace of modern life. We’re living in an era where the expectation is for parents to ‘do it all’ — balance work, manage a home, and raise children who thrive in all aspects of life, all while adhering to a societal benchmark that sometimes feels out of reach, and parents are faced with the idea that modern babies should adapt to contemporary schedules seamlessly.

    The Role of Gentle Sleep Coaching

    So how can we bridge this disconnect? Gentle, holistic sleep approaches consider every aspect of a child’s life from their diet and daily routine to the sleep environment and emotional well-being. Using a holistic approach means looking beyond the immediate challenge of getting a child to sleep through the night to understand and address the underlying factors contributing to sleep disruptions. Gentle sleep coaching is rooted in understanding and working with a child’s natural sleep tendencies rather than against them or forcing something unnatural. This method focuses on gradually teaching children to sleep better without causing distress for either the child or the parent.

    How Gentle Sleep Coaching Works

    So, how does it work exactly?

    All it takes are 3 simple steps to achieve restful sleep for your child, overcome bedtime challenges, and realise a transformation towards peaceful nights and happier mornings.

    Step 1: Personalised Sleep Assessment

    We begin with a comprehensive evaluation of your child’s current sleep habits and your family’s routines. This step involves detailed questionnaires and discussions to understand the specific challenges you are facing. By assessing the sleep environment and your child’s behaviours, we lay the groundwork for a tailored sleep plan that respects your parenting style and meets your child’s unique needs.

    Step 2: Customised Sleep Plan Development

    Based on the assessment, I develop a personalised sleep plan that includes gentle sleep coaching methods tailored specifically to your child. This plan will guide you through implementing routines and strategies that encourage healthy sleep habits. We focus on gentle transitions and attachment-focused techniques that foster independence and security, all without the stress and tears associated with traditional sleep training methods.

    Step 3: Ongoing Support and Adjustment

    As you implement the sleep plan, you won’t be alone. You’ll receive ongoing support through follow-up calls and unlimited email access, allowing me to monitor progress and make any necessary adjustments. This step ensures that we continue to make progress, solidifying the transformation and ensuring long-term success. These steps are designed to be straightforward and stress-free, guiding you through a transformation that leads to better sleep for your child and more peaceful evenings for your family.

    Gentle and holistic sleep coaching isn’t just about improving sleep—it’s about enhancing the quality of life for your entire family. By understanding and adapting to your child’s needs, you can overcome the challenges posed by modern parenting pressures. Remember, the goal isn’t just to change how your child sleeps but to transform how your family experiences each day and night.

    Transformative Impacts of Gentle Sleep Coaching

    Parents who embrace my method often find that not only does their child’s sleep improve, but so does their overall family dynamic. There’s less stress at bedtime and more time for connection and relaxation. And as the child learns to sleep better, parents find that their evenings also transform into a period of peace and personal time. They’re able to get back to quiet evenings and a child-free bed, and they are able to do it in a way that feels right for their family.

    Navigating modern parenting requires resources that align with both our heritage and the demands of today. Gentle sleep coaching and holistic sleep practices are those resources, offering a way to experience restful nights within the framework of a busy modern life.

    If you’re a parent looking for guidance on how to improve your family’s sleep in a way that feels supportive and aligned with your values, get your free Better Sleep 101 guide and subscribe to my newsletter ‘The Village’, both of which are focused on gentle sleep coaching and parenting in a way that feels good. Let’s bridge the gap between the expectations of modern parenting and the unchanged nature of our children’s sleep, together, one restful night at a time.

  • Sleep

    What You Need To Know About Your Child’s Naps

    Nap time can often feel like a rollercoaster ride. One day, your baby takes a glorious 2-hour nap, and the next, you’re lucky to get 30 minutes. Understanding your baby’s nap needs can transform your day. Let’s explore how to handle nap time, focusing on key aspects like sleep pressure, nap patterns, and practical tips for extending naps.

    Understanding Baby Nap Needs

    Sleep Pressure

    Babies build up sleep pressure throughout the day. Think of it as a gradual buildup of tiredness that needs to be relieved through sleep. If babies stay awake too long, this pressure gets too high, making them cranky and harder to settle. Catching naps before this pressure peaks can prevent meltdowns and make nap time smoother. Aim for that sweet spot where your baby is tired enough to sleep but not overtired.

    Predictable Patterns

    By about 4-6 months, your baby’s nap patterns will start to become more predictable. This is the perfect time to start gently guiding them into a routine if you would like to. Consistency is your best friend here. Regular nap times at this age can help regulate your baby’s sleep-wake cycles, making it easier for them to fall asleep and stay asleep.

    Naps vs. Night Sleep

    You may have heard the saying, “sleep begets sleep.” It’s not entirely true, though it does highlight an important point: balancing daytime and nighttime sleep is crucial. Too much daytime sleep can push bedtime later, while too little can lead to overtired crankiness. Finding the right balance that works for your child is key. Observe your baby’s sleep cues and adjust nap times accordingly to ensure they get the rest they need without disrupting night sleep.

    Location Isn’t Everything

    Don’t stress if your little one naps best in a carrier or stroller if that works for you. The key is that they’re getting the rest they need. While it’s ideal to have naps in a consistent sleep environment like a cot, the quality and timing of the nap are more important than the location. Flexibility is crucial, especially when dealing with young babies whose nap needs can change rapidly.

    Short Naps Can Be Normal

    If your baby isn’t taking the long naps ‘the books’ suggest, it’s not necessarily a problem! Focus on whether the naps meet their needs rather than fitting into a prescribed schedule. Your baby isn’t broken; they just have their own unique sleep needs. Short naps, often called “catnaps,” can be common, especially in younger babies. If your baby seems tired and cranky when waking from a short nap, it might be worth exploring ways to help them lengthen their naps.

    Tips for Extending Naps

    1. Create a Consistent Nap Routine: Establishing a calming pre-nap routine can help signal to your baby that it’s time to sleep. This might include a short ritual like reading a book, gentle rocking, or singing a lullaby.

    2. Ensure a Sleep-Friendly Environment: Make sure your baby’s nap environment is dark, quiet, and cool. Consider using white noise to mask household sounds that might wake your baby.

    3. Watch for Sleep Cues: Pay attention to your baby’s sleep cues, such as rubbing eyes, yawning, or becoming fussy. Putting your baby down for a nap at the first sign of tiredness can help them fall asleep more easily.

    4. Extend Wake Times Gradually: If your baby is taking short naps and waking happy, try gradually extending their wake times by 10-15 minutes to help them consolidate their naps.

    5. Offer Full Feeds: Ensure your baby is getting full feeds to prevent hunger from waking them early from naps.

    6. Resettle After Short Naps: If your baby wakes up early, you can try to resettle them to see if you can rescue the nap.

    Contact Naps

    Contact naps refer to the practice of infants napping in close contact with an adult, whether in arms, or a baby carrier. While this can sometimes feel restrictive, many parents find it a precious bonding time. If contact naps work for you and your baby, embrace them! They can provide comfort and security for your baby, especially in the first few months. If you want to transition away from contact naps, try starting with the first nap of the day, which is often the least resisted.

    Balancing Naps and Night Sleep

    Naps and nighttime sleep are linked, but don’t overthink it! Too much sleep during the day can reduce the pressure to sleep at night, leading to later bedtimes or early rising. Conversely, too little daytime sleep can lead to crankiness and sleep resistance at night. Finding a balance that works for your baby involves looking at the entire day in context. If your baby is happy and content during the day, and sleeps well at night, it’s unlikely they are deficient in sleep.

    In Conclusion

    Every baby is different, and there’s definitely no one-size-fits-all solution. What’s important is that you find what works best for your little one and your family. If you’ve been having trouble with naps, please reach out and we can talk about ways to improve sleep for you and your baby. You can also download my free guide, Better Sleep 101, which has tons of gentle, easy-to-implement strategies to help your little one get the sleep they need.

  • Parenting, Sleep

    4 Ways to Improve Sleep without Sleep Training

    Tackling your little one’s sleep challenges can sometimes feel like solving a puzzle with half the pieces missing. If the thought of traditional sleep training doesn’t sit right with you, don’t worry. Settling strategies are just one piece of the puzzle, and there’s often a lot we can do to improve sleep without needing to do formal sleep training. I’ve put some of my top tips below.

    This blog post includes affiliate links/codes. If you buy something through one of these links or use our codes, we may earn an affiliate commission. 

    1. Optimise the Sleep Environment

    First, we want to optimise the sleep environment to set the scene for a good night’s rest. It’s about creating a space that says, “It’s time to sleep.” Here are a few tips that can work wonders:

    •  A Dark, Quiet Room: Consider blackout curtains and a consistent, soothing sound (hello, white noise machine). For my own children, I personally use the Glow Dreaming machine. You can use my discount code for 15% off: YOUNGSLEEPSUPPORT
    •  Comfortable Temperature: Keep the room cool, around 18-20°C, this is the optimal temperature for sleep. Layer your little one accordingly.
    •  Safe Sleep Space: A firm mattress and a clutter-free cot.

    2. Ruling Out Red Flags

    There are some things, such as certain medical conditions, or illness, or hitting developmental milestones, that are known to impact sleep. It’s crucial to identify and rule out these physical discomforts as they are often the hidden culprits behind sleep disturbances. Your GP is the person to help you here – and in my Better Sleep 101 freebie, I’ve put together a list of some of the red flags I regularly see as a Sleep Consultant to give you some ideas on when it might be time to consult your doctor. 

    3. Having The Right Routine

    A consistent and calming bedtime routine is your secret weapon! But it’s not just about what you do before bed; it’s also about ensuring your baby isn’t under or overtired. Here’s the deal:

    •  Avoiding Overtiredness: When our little ones are overtired, their bodies release cortisol, a stress hormone that can make it harder for them to fall and stay asleep. So we want to make sure your little one is getting adequate day sleep to set them up for a good night’s rest.
    •  Preventing Undertiredness: On the flip side, an undertired baby may struggle to settle down. Balance is key. Using an age-appropriate wake window or schedule during the day can go a long way to ensure your little one is ready for sleep at bedtime.
    •  The Pre-Sleep Routine: Bath, book, bed – or whatever works for you. The goal is to create a series of predictable, calming activities that signal to your baby that sleep time is near.

    Remember, routines take time to establish. Patience and consistency are your best friends here.

    4. Sunlight and Play During the Day

    What happens during the day is just as important as the night routine. Morning sunlight helps regulate your baby’s internal clock, while playtime and activities are crucial for burning off energy. A well-balanced day often leads to a better night’s sleep.

    Improving sleep without traditional sleep training is about understanding your baby’s unique needs, creating a conducive sleep environment, and establishing a routine that works for your family. With the right approach and a sprinkle of sleep science, we can set you on the path to better sleep!

    But sometimes, despite your best efforts, sleep can still be elusive. That’s where I come in. My 1:1 sleep coaching services are tailored to your unique family situation. Together, we can work out a plan that respects your parenting style and addresses your baby’s specific sleep needs.

  • Newborn, Parenting, Sleep

    Busting the Myth: When Waking a Sleeping Baby is Necessary

    The old adage ‘Never wake a sleeping baby’ has been whispered in nurseries and parenting circles for generations. But as many parents have learned – sometimes through sleep-deprived trial and error – this saying is more myth than truth. In the world of infant care, particularly concerning sleep, flexibility and understanding your baby’s needs are more beneficial than strictly adhering to this age-old belief.

    Understanding the Myth

    First, let’s address the elephant in the room: Why does this saying exist? In essence, it’s born from an understanding that babies need a significant amount of sleep for their growth and development. This part, at least, is true. And disrupting this sleep unnecessarily can seem counterintuitive. However, as any seasoned parent or sleep consultant will tell you, there are times when waking your baby is both safe and necessary.

    Feeding Requirements

    For newborns, especially in their early weeks, regular feeding is paramount. Babies typically need to eat every 2-3 hours. These feeding schedules mean that, yes, you might need to wake your sleeping baby to ensure they’re receiving adequate nutrition. This is particularly crucial for maintaining or increasing weight and for establishing a solid feeding schedule. Your GP or MACH nurse will advise you on the best feeding schedule for your baby.

    Managing Oversleeping During the Day

    Babies, much like adults, have sleep cycles, and too much daytime sleep can disrupt their night time rest. If you find your baby napping for extended periods during the day, but not overnight, it might be time for a gentle wake-up from those day naps. It’s all about finding a balance that ensures they are getting enough sleep overall but not so much during the day that it affects their ability to sleep at night.

    Establishing a Routine

    A consistent sleep routine is key to helping your baby understand the difference between day and night. Sometimes, this means waking them up at a consistent time each morning to set their internal clock and circadian rhythm. It can also mean waking them from naps at a regular time to help establish a predictable sleep pattern.

    The Balancing Act

    Waking a sleeping baby should of course be done gently and thoughtfully. Abrupt awakenings can be distressing for infants, leading to crankiness and difficulty settling back down. Instead, try a soft approach: gently stroking their back, softly speaking to them, or lightly opening their room’s curtains to let natural light in. The goal is to ease them out of sleep in a way that’s comforting and calm.

    Every Baby is Unique

    Remember, each baby is different. While one infant might easily slip back into sleep after a feeding, another might struggle. Understanding your baby’s unique needs and responses to sleep and wakefulness is crucial. This might mean adjusting your approach based on how they respond to being woken up for feedings or how they’re sleeping at night.

    It’s Not Just About Sleep

    Waking a sleeping baby isn’t just about managing their sleep. It’s about ensuring they’re receiving enough to eat, creating a sustainable sleep schedule, and helping them differentiate night from day. As they grow and their sleep patterns become more established, you’ll likely find fewer reasons to wake them.

    Seeking Help

    If you’re finding it challenging to manage your baby’s sleep or have concerns about their sleep patterns, don’t hesitate to seek advice. Paediatricians, sleep consultants, and experienced parents can offer invaluable advice tailored to your situation. Sometimes, a small adjustment in routine or approach can make a significant difference.

    Final Thoughts

    In conclusion, while ‘Never wake a sleeping baby’ is a saying that you might hear often, it doesn’t hold true in every situation. Understanding the nuances of your baby’s sleep needs and being flexible in your approach can ensure they’re getting the right amount of sleep, at the right times, for their healthy development.

    So, next time you’re tiptoeing around your sleeping baby, remember that sometimes it’s okay – even necessary – to gently wake them. And as always, if you need guidance or support in navigating your baby’s sleep journey, I’m here to help with expert advice and practical tips.